What follows is the story of a brief three-week journey one family experienced when a young mother of six sons, lost son number seven as he died in her womb. The story is related in a series of emails sent by family members as the sad events unfolded. The parents are ardently whole life. The loss of this baby caused intense pain and feelings of loss for his mother, father, brothers, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

This family hopes, by sharing their story, to convey the importance and sanctity of human life. The baby, Jansen, even though so very small, has changed his family's lives forever. Jansen joins in heaven the miscarried, stillborn and 58 million babies who have been killed through abortion in America since 1973. These tiny saints never had a chance to achieve their God-intended potential, and we would all be wise to reflect on the magnitude of this loss to our world and to pray for the end to the evil of abortion.

Writing this story has been healing and has given an increased determination to work for human life. We hope that, as you read through it, you are inspired to speak out for all of the unborn who cannot speak for themselves.  We hope that the images portrayed in the last email from Jansen's uncle will bring comfort to all who have lost children at whatever age, and that those who have been involved in abortion will find peace in knowing that their little saints are with Jesus.
Mom's First Email                                                                                                                                                      
Please forgive the fact that I'm telling all of you this via email.  I cannot do this in person because of distance. I was hoping that all of you would please pray for me.  Last Friday, I found out that I was pregnant. I was just completely shocked. I had no idea. Hey, live my insane life and you'd understand how that could be. Anyway, I had an ultrasound today and they discovered that the baby had died. They need to surgically remove the baby.  So, Monday, I'll be doing pre-op testing, and Tuesday, at 7:30AM, I'll have the surgery.  I know the baby is in Heaven and I ask you to pray for the repose of the little one's soul. I also ask that you keep me in your prayers. I cannot get my head around what they are going to do to my baby. I'll be praying at the Shaker abortion clinic on Saturday, where these confused women will be killing their children in the same manner that my baby will be sliced and tossed into the medical waste bin. I cannot get past that.  I'll be holding my sweet baby's body inside me while he or she waits to be "surgically removed" and here will be all these women intentionally throwing their living babies away. Please pray for them too.  I know I sound like a nutcase and I'm sorry.  I'm just so incredibly sad right now. 
      Love and blessings to you all, J

​Mom's Second Email
I just wanted all of you to know that we have opted for a non-surgical option. The way things were presented to us originally, everything was doom and gloom, and surgery was the only way to go. Well, after lots of research, prayer and a little direction from my favorite doctor, we've discovered that we do not have to have immediate surgery; we can allow nature to take its course.  So, that is what we have decided to do.  We believe that waiting is the right decision for us. I cannot be whole life and say that I believe that it's a baby from the moment of conception and then turn around and throw the baby away when it dies just because it doesn't meet the hospital's 20 week rule for being considered worthy of burial and recognition. What a barbaric and cruel medical practice this is!

Anyway, I'm so at peace with this decision. Ever since the surgery was cancelled, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I feel great physically.  Emotionally, I'm tired.  Thanks to my deep faith and belief system, I am weathering the whole thing quite well. From very early on I was at peace, knowing our little guy was home, where we all strive to be, in Heaven.  My sister is having my father get a tree to plant in the baby's honor (we decided to name him Jansen Benedict). Dad bought a beautiful statue of a sleeping baby wrapped in angel wings which will be placed at the foot of the tree.

I can see why some people choose surgery because they want to return to "normal" immediately. However, it wasn't for me. Some of you may say I'm crazy because I only knew I was pregnant for less than a week.  However, I love my children from the moment I know they exist. I could never let one be destroyed and thrown away. I will love this little one for the rest of my life. I will always wonder what he would have looked like and what he would have been. God willing, I will meet him one day in Heaven. I've been praying that God  will show me why all this happened. I think it may have something to do with changing how the Church and doctors handle this type of loss. If we believe that life begins at conception, than a loss at any stage of pregnancy, not just 20 weeks plus, is a loss. Families need to grieve and have closure. So, maybe it's up to me to change that. I'll keep praying for guidance because I know that no matter what I think, I'm not the one in control and this is all a part of a path that was laid out for me before the beginning of time. I love you all.  You are in my prayers.  And, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your prayers.
          Love, J

"Thanks" from Jansen's Poppa
Hello All,
We buried our grandson, Jansen Benedict, today.  It was the most beautiful and deeply touching funeral I ever attended. J has written the "Final Update" to our family's painful voyage of the past three weeks.  We now have the closure that this brave woman risked her own life to provide for her son. We will always remember Jansen and will wonder at what his life could have been. We all send our heartfelt gratitude for your prayers, concern, compassion and empathy.  These gifts from you, the people of God, have made it possible to survive through our grief.
          Peace, D ​

Mom's Final Update
Hi Everyone,
Here's one last update for all of you. Today we laid our tiny little son to rest.  Jansen Benedict was given a beautiful graveside service at All Souls Cemetery. Father Jay is so amazing. He was crying right along with the rest of us. We are so blessed to have him as our pastor. There are so many clergy in the Church who would not have recognized Jansen's life. Father Jay said all the right things and brought us so much peace and comfort. We are forever grateful for the blessing that he is to us.

The rain passed over us. The sun peaked out. The little white roses with the blue bow were so tiny and precious like Jansen was. I wish I could have showed him to all of you. I wish people in the medical profession could have looked at him. I mean really looked at him. He was so little, but he was incredibly beautiful. When you looked at his little face, it was like looking at any other newborn baby - just in miniature. He was truly beautiful and I thank God every day that we didn't listen to the first doctor and opt for the surgical route. This was our son. We love him dearly and we always will. Just because he wasn't "viable" doesn't mean he was any less a person. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that other families do not have to go through what we just went through - or, at least soften the pain.

My Mom found an amazing poem. We do not know who the author is, but it sums up everything so beautifully. It's really funny because when we were telling the boys about the funeral arrangements the other day, I said some of the very same things to the boys. I was telling them that Jansen was so fortunate. He went right to the arms of God. He never had to do homework. He never had to get in trouble. He never had to fall and get hurt. He just went right to our Father and our Blessed Mother in Heaven. I am very sad that I will never know this little guy. I'm sure he would be amazing as all our other boys are. Each one of them has blown me away through this whole thing. As sad as it has been, it's been a very good experience for our family. It reaffirms our commitment to love one another and to support the cause of WHOLE life. Little teeny, tiny Jansen Benedict has brought us all closer together.  God bless his little soul!

We thank you again for all your love and prayers. We feel your love and it means so much to us. 
     God bless you all. Love, J
The Poem - Precious Little One
I'm just a precious little one
  who didn't make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus
  but I'm waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here in Heaven,
  waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorrow,
  a world marred with pain and sin.
Thank you for the life you gave me,
  it was brief but don't complain.
I have all of Heaven's glory,
  suffered none of Earth's great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me.
  I'd have loved to bring it fame.
But if I'd lingered in Earth's shadows,
  I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family - don't you sorrow.
  Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus' arms
  from my loving mother's womb.

     ~ Author Unknown  

​Uncle D's Email
Dear J,
You might think I'm crazy, but Monday night I was at Adoration.  I was kneeling there all by myself at 3 AM, and I was praying for everyone in the family as I usually do.  I was running through the list of your family's nine "J's", when I came to Jansen's name and immediately had the image of a man in a robe and sandals walking through a field in bright sunshine during the day. As the man walked along, all of these small brilliantly bright lights seemed to arise from the field and gather around him.  Sort of like fireflies they moved, but larger and 1000 times brighter. I heard the sound of babies cooing and laughing, and then I heard the man's voice say, "This is my favorite time of the day." As I understood it,  the bright lights were the small children who came to Heaven so early in life, and the man walking was Jesus. It made the hair on my neck stand up and then it was gone. I hope you are feeling better, and I hope you know Jansen is so very happy where he is.
      Love, D